Active Parenting and Vitamin N

Welcome back and I hope you all had a great week! I just wanted to start off by saying that I know that parenting and raising children is so challenging. Especially in the world we are living in today where there is so much chaos, distrust, and temptations at our fingertips. While I don’t have any personal experience or expert advice to offer, I can share what hit home to me this week as I was studying some articles this week. I know parenting is hard work, so I am going to try to implement these skills many years down the road when I hopefully have the opportunity to be a parent. 

One thing I think is so important in raising children in the world we are living in is making sure our children get enough Vitamin N. Vitamin N just happens to be the word “No.” I found this video extremely fascinating in my studying this week and I’ll link it here: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3cgUhtRUbE). Giving your children everything they want will never satisfy their needs. What you don’t need won’t satisfy you, ever. In fact, in the video, they suggest that you give your children 100% of what they needs so their needs are met (physically, mentally, and emotionally), and about 25% of what they want. True satisfaction in life comes from working. Work is the only truly fulfilling way of getting anything of value in life. Now, I’m not saying to always tell your children no, but what I am saying is teach them the value of hard work and working to earn something. The things they work for they will value a lot more and take better care of. 

Another thing I learned about this week is active parenting versus reactive parenting by Michael Popkin. Active parenting strives to meet the child’s needs before certain behaviors present, rather than reacting to the behaviors after the fact. The purpose of parenting really is protecting and preparing your child to survive and to thrive in the world they live in, and perhaps even the world we will live in in our lives to come. The needs of the child that need to be met are contact (physical, eye contact, emotional contact, etc.), belonging, power (ability to make choices), protection, withdrawal (pulling back to regroup, then returning and knowing when to do so), and being challenged (physically and mentally through good means like skill building). 

Some parental responses that are super helpful in engaging with and helping their children in an active way include the following. Offering contact freely so they child feels loved. Children really need physical contact and interaction in order to develop properly and it is important that parents offer that freely. To help children feel like they belong, it is important to teach children how to contribute and be helpful so they can feel like they are a part. Allowing children to make choices empowers them, and also allowing them to have the natural consequences of their actions gives them a sense of power as well. It also teaches them responsibility. Teaching children when and how to take breaks helps them to know how to properly withdrawal from the situation, calm down, and get right back to it. Children love to be challenged and to learn new skills and allowing them the opportunity to play an instrument or play a sport gives them a good way to be challenged so they don’t resort to undue risk-taking. 

It is important to seek out inspiration in parenting our children because every child will be different. Our children need our love, our attention, and our focus and we have a Father in Heaven who will always help us to fulfil our righteous desires. I am going to try and remember these teachings when it comes time for me to be a parent, because I know they will be so helpful!

I hope you guys enjoyed this week, and I look forward to writing next week!

Love, Annie